It’s almost been one whole day fighting with him. Over a year in this relationship, I feel emotionally drained and incapable of ending the tiffs.
It’s just some issue with the necessary tuning between us which escalates into ugly fights every time.
It’s a holiday, and I wake up in the morning forcing myself out of bed and trying to comprehend why shit hit the roof last night. It was that bad that I asked him to leave in the middle of the night because I couldn’t bear him being around, the way he was behaving.
And of course, after he left, an exchange of hurtful messages on WhatsApp ensued and said the nastiest things to each other.
After some time,
I reach for my phone and dial him, but he doesn’t answer. I have promised my aunt to meet her over lunch. I drag myself to the wash to freshen up and make myself some tea to relieve myself of the splitting headache.
I redial him sipping my tea, but he doesn’t answer. I sigh and put the phone down to get ready to go to my aunt’s.
My phone beeps just as I am greeting my aunt. It’s a message from him. “Can you come over?” He isn’t aware of my plans, so I update him and tell him ill come once I am done with lunch here.
Two hours later
I reach his place, and he is still the same, a lot of discussions happens, I don’t want to fight, so I leave.
After reaching back to my place, I sit in silence on my bed feeling empty. I dialed my boyfriend. He answers, and I pour my heart out about my issues and recent mood swings and inability to deal with being alone that is causing all the fights because I am eating into his personal space. I speak non-stop for half an hour saying all the things I want to, explaining what I am going through. He listens to my monologue. I hang up after I have said everything I think I wanted to.
I feel empty again and I don’t want to lose him, but I don’t want him to feel suffocated. So, I decide to sleep for a while.
About an hour later,
The doorbell rings. I went to the door. It’s self out of bed to answer it half hoping it’s my boyfriend at the door.
Alas! No one. There is no one at the door.
Oh, wait! What’s this?
Right in front of my door?
I lift it and take it in.
Place it on the bedside table.
It has a card from Toffa4- We Deliver Smiles that reads – “Adieu 6th Feb & Happy Valentine.”
It’s a plant of my favorite flowers, Lily.
My eyes well up with tears, I choke and as I am about to burst into tears my phone rings.
It’s him. He says a lot of things all I manage to say is, I LOVE YOU.